The Story Behind Adoption by Lauren Haynes

Many people grow up, get married and start having children. It’s the “typical” life a person goes on to live. However, it doesn’t seem as though anybody has the plan to grow up, get married, and adopt children. People imagine a family with their own biological children. Although adoption can have many challenges, it is an option that should be considered because it can help not only the children being adopted but the whole population.

There are several reasons people don’t consider adoption. One reason people don’t consider adoption is because of the cost of it. People who can adopt a child can sometimes pay “from $0-$50,000” (AdoptionHelp). That doesn’t account for travel costs if the parents are adopting from another country. While some adoptions are local, or within the states, some people decide to adopt from other countries which can become extremely pricey. While the adoptive parents must consider the price of adoption, the biological parents considering putting their child up for adoption have to consider their financial ability to raise a child.

Making the decision to put a child up for adoption must be one of the hardest things a person can mentally do in their life, but sometimes it’s the only thing they can do. Besides being one of the most difficult decisions to make, it is also one of the most selfless decisions a biological parent can make. A woman by the name of Meggan Nielson who grew up with 4 adopted brothers and sisters stated, “Knowing that the selflessness of a biological parent knew that this child needed a home that they couldn’t provide and that they were able to bless somebody else’s life with a child because they knew they weren’t capable of doing it… I will always be grateful for the biological parents who knew it was best for these children.” There are various reasons people put their children up for adoption. Something that could lead to a biological parent would put their child up for adoption would be because they know they aren’t financially stable enough to raise a child. “Poor countries export children to rich ones, black parents to white, poor parents to better off”(The Concepts of Family Dynamic). While some parents don’t consider adoption based on financial reasons, others don’t think about adopting a child because they feel that they won’t be as connected to the child as they would if it were their own biological child. Although, as Lorrie Olsen said, an adoptive mother herself, “Really since the time we made the decision to adopt we never looked back, I never shed a tear or anything, and I don’t think I could’ve ever known or expected… was I don’t think until you’re a parent you comprehend the joy it is to be a parent.” Of course, not all adoptions are the same, and not all families are the same, but a parent will love their child no matter what. People believe there won’t be as strong of an emotional connection between and adopted child and their adoptive parent, while others believe that if the adoptive parent already has a biological child of their own the children won’t get along. They believe that there will be competition between the siblings for the parent’s attention.

Besides the emotional and financial reasons people don’t consider adoption, there are also many legal factors people have to take into consideration when thinking about adoption. Unless the parents adopting and the biological parents are handling the adoption independently there will be a lot of paperwork. Even in an independent adoption there is a large amount of paperwork but the couple will usually hire an attorney to most of it. Other than that, there is extensive paperwork that must be filled out, approved, and once all that goes through a child still has to be placed with the couple waiting for a child, or for the biological parents to choose the couple/person they want their child to go to. That can take months, to years, and people don’t want to wait that long to start their family. While that is difficult enough for a heterosexual married couple to go through, it is even worse for a single parent, or a same sex couple. In the United States, there are 2,267,016 households with children and their parents are un-married and of the opposite sex, while the number of American households with married same sex parents is only 94,627. While “traditional Christian” couples have struggles adopting, it is nothing compared to that of same sex parents. In the United States, the ones “that explicitly allow same-sex couples to petition for a second parent adoption include California, Colorado, Connecticut, Washington D.C., Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Maine, Massachusetts, Montana, New Jersey, New York, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, and Vermont,” (Lifelong Adoptions).

These are all reasons people steer away from the idea of adoption, but there are so many more reasons that adoption would be the best option for others looking to start a family. A lot of times when people think about adopting it’s because they are unable to have their own child for some medical reason. Some couples, such as Lorrie Olsen and her husband, can be infertile, “We went through the whole infertility process and it just wasn’t gonna work”. It could be either partner, or both, while the couple could choose the path of surrogacy they really should go with adoption. It would help give the family a child and prevent the population from growing more than it needs to. “According to research conducted by Joshua Gold, women’s reasons to postpone or forgo childbearing include an unwillingness to add to overpopulation,” was stated in Childless Couples. Childless Couples is part of an encyclopedia on reasons couples choose not to have their own biological children, and some opt for adoption. The world is home to about 7.4 BILLION people. That is a huge number and that number continues to grow. Adoption however small of a difference it seems like it would make, it could turn out to make a huge impact on our environment, and the well-being of the world. The human population, mostly America, is running through all the natural resources we will ever have, and the growing population isn’t helping.

Adoption is a great way to start a family. It may be a long tedious process, but it is well worth it in the end. It will help the child who could end up in foster care otherwise, it will help the biological parent have the peace of mind knowing they did the right thing for their child, and it helps give a family that wants a child, and may not be able to have one, the gift of joy and the love of a child. Not only is adoption a plus for the families involved, but it could eventually help humanity. By decreasing the growing population, and bettering the world with children who have loving homes, and a bright future ahead of them.

 

 

Works Cited

Conner, Stacy, and Sandra Stith. “Childless Couples.” The Social History of the American Family: An Encyclopedia, edited by Marilyn J. Coleman and Lawrence H. Ganong, vol. 1, SAGE Reference, 2014, pp. 204-208. Gale Virtual Reference Library, Accessed 22 Nov. 2016.

“Independent Adoption Center.” Adoption Questions. N.p., n.d. Web. 22 Nov. 2016.

Link, Sharon. “International Adoption.” The Concepts of Family Dynamic, Salem Press, 2014, pp. 63-69. Sociology Reference Guide. Gale Virtual Reference Library, Accessed 4 Dec. 2016.

Neilson, Meggan. “How Adoption Impacted Your Life.” Personal interview. 2 Dec. 2016.

Olsen, Lorrie. “How Adoption Has Impacted Your Life.” Personal interview. 3 Dec. 2016.

Pickles, Brooke. “How Adoption Has Impacted Your Life.” Personal interview. 3 Dec. 2016.

“Types of Adoption.” Nolo.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 4 Dec. 2016.

User, Super. “LGBT Adoption.” Same Sex Adoption. N.p., n.d. Web. 4 Dec. 2016.

 

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