Life in the Grey by Madisan Dvorak
Life in the Grey
Life is like a coin trick, where you think you know what’s going on, but you are never quite looking at the right things. We so often get wrapped up in making little decisions in our lives that we fail to see the bigger picture, whatever that is for each individual. In American God’s by Neil Gaiman, Shadow had spent his life trying to do good by his love, who is the reason he had so much tribulation, and when he was freed from his cage he finds he has lost her. Shadow begins to uncover truths about the world around him and is fooled because he cannot see the bigger picture of the war playing out around him. When in the underworld Shadow reaches his destination and has his heart weighed against a feather by a creature called Anubis. In Ancient Egyptian culture Anubis or Anpu, was known as the god of the underworld and was the decider of fate (“Anubis” 1). When Shadow’s heart was weighed it balanced with the feather and because of this he was able to choose heaven, hell or purgatory which were not where Shadow believed he truly belonged. In need of an adequate resolution Shadow answers saying, “I want to rest now. That’s what I want. I want nothing. No heaven, no hell, no anything. Just let it end”(Gaiman 613). All the choices he makes are based on current emotions of pain and loneliness, creating a blur in his idea of right and wrong, making them essentially become one singular idea. When we don’t do anything extraordinarily bad or extraordinarily good, we do not deserve heaven nor hell but rather fall into this place of nothing .
Does heaven look different to everyone? Will the streets be made of solid gold, pillars made of diamonds, and happy faces all around? Or does our paradise consist of missed loved ones, and memories of our past lives to let us relish in our own mortal existence? None of these things are what Shadow wanted or believed he deserved as ending. It is possible he didn’t know what heaven was and he didn’t want to find out, or it was possibly due to the fact that he had committed crime after crime by his own accord. Many believe that Shadow is a protagonist by heart due to his final choices, but Shadow would not agree with that idea (Gaiman 613). In an article written by Sarah Lischer she states, “I imagine a different heaven…”(Lischer 7). Heaven was no place for a man like Shadow who had a pure heart, but was tainted by the sins he had committed in order to help Mr. Wednesday and love Laura. Heaven was a place meant for good people to Shadow, but to him he had done no good and he did not deserve that kind of ending. In an article written in 2009 it stated, “No one “deserves” heaven because we are all sinners” (Graham). So often people want to hope for a good ending even when they know they, have done wrong, because no one wants to believe they will spend the rest of their eternity suffering. When talking about God in a singular form, many believe heaven will be the outcome if you at least try. Only a select amount of people see how unfair this concept is to the world. Some people do not deserve heaven even if they tried over and over again. Shadow has seen the errors of his ways and knows that if he is honest with himself, heaven was not made for someone like him. Someone like all of us.
Hell is such a petrifying word to think about in the context of our lives. Who really deserves eternal damnation? Many would say that the only people who deserve hell are those who commit disgusting crimes that mentally and physically kill those who fall prey to the constant games of society. In some ways Shadow is the protagonist who tries to love the girl and prevent a war (Gaiman 680). In other ways he is a thief and a helped contribute to a war that was in all actuality a mass murder. Somehow Shadow is still a man of true honor and heart. Life is not fair and while it is impossible to avoid what feels like bombs being thrown our way, all we can do is find shelter and hope we can outlast the attack. Shadow was thrown into a cell for the women he loved and because of his choice to love her he faced more trials than he can count on both hands. Anthony Darius once proposed an idea about love and sin saying, “…my foolish reasoning never allowed me to comprehend how love can ever be sin” (Darius 14-17). Shadows most destroying sin was loving Laura. By loving her as he did he let her control and manipulate his life letting it take a nasty turn before becoming unfaithful. This does not mean that he deserves to spend an eternity in the fiery inferno. His heart weighed out with the feather and that is enough to know that Shadow is more than a criminal record and a pawn of the God’s (Gaiman 612). No, hell is made for those who find true pleasure in the suffering of others and that is not the man Shadow proved himself to be. Shadow was so much more than that.
Many religions around the world believe that you do not get to choose where you end up in the life after this or they believe there is nothing after this life at all. Religions such as Christianity and branches of that believe that your good deeds alone with decide where you will go usually consisting of heaven or hell. Not based on how much good you do, but instead based on repentance for the sins you have committed in this life or in the millennium (Jardine). Christian mystics have a saying that goes, “I am nothing, I have nothing” (Egan 7). They believe without a God or God’s that they are nothing to themselves and the world because they have have no personal connection to the creator of men. This could be a reason why people like Shadow choose to have nothing after their life on mortal earth. They have no connection to God or God’s because they may have sinned and have lost all hope in finding their way back to a place where God or God’s roam and share their piece of paradise with their mortal puppets. Shadows good deeds alone did not convince him he was worthy of a happily ever after.
Life after death is complicated and can be looked at from many objectives, but we each know whether we deserve good, bad or nothing based on our merit alone. Shadow was a truly extraordinary example of the grey area in our lives where our good and bad deeds cancel eachother out in the end, leaving us with nothing. Suzanne Collins wrote, “ The only thing stronger than fear is hope” (Collins 1). Everyone fears the end and how it will play out for them, but hope is what keeps us going to our lasts days. When arrival day comes, the truth will be unleashed and each person will see the grey in their lives. Having nothing for an ending is possibly the best end for all imperfect people. Heaven nor hell seem to be a probable solution to those who stray from the path given to them by the higher being they serve. No individual is all bad or good, but merely an uneven mix of two parts whole and one part misfortune.
Works-Cited
“Anubis.” Gods of Ancient Egypt: Anubis, www.ancientegyptonline.co.uk/anubis.html.
Accessed 14 Apr. 2017.
Collins, Suzanne. “A Quote from The Hunger Games.” Goodreads,
www.goodreads.com/quotes/531796-hope-is-the-only-thing-stronger-than-fear. Accessed 14 Apr. 2017
Darius, Anthony. “Love is sin.” Kola, vol. 15, no. 2, 2003, p. 59+. Academic OneFile,
ez1.maricopa.edu:2048/login?url=http://go.galegroup.com.ez1.maricopa.edu/ps/i.do?p=AONE&sw=w&u=mcc_chandler&v=2.1&it=r&id=GALE%7CA111464804&asid=637287d2394bee8cb444bc132b716db7. Accessed 14 Apr. 2017.
.Echert, Fr. John. “What Do Catholics Believe Happen to a Person After Death.” EWTN, 31 Dec.
2001, www.ewtn.com/v/experts/showmessage.asp?number=340085. Accessed 12 Mar. 2017.
Egan, Harvey D. “In purgatory we shall all be mystics.” Theological Studies, vol. 73, no. 4, 2012,
p. 870+. Academic OneFile, ez1.maricopa.edu:2048/login?url=http://go.galegroup.com.ez1.maricopa.edu/ps/i.do?p=AONE&sw=w&u=mcc_chandler&v=2.1&it=r&id=GALE%7CA310517144&asid=d7b62f2edaf13aff9bee2ae67283faf4. Accessed 14 Apr. 2017.
Works-Cited Cont.
Gaiman, Neil. American Gods. New York, NY, William Morrow, an Imprint of HarperCollins
Publishers, 2017.
Graham, Billy. Christian Post Guest Columnist. “In Truth, No One ‘Deserves’ to Go to Heaven.”
The Christian Post, www.christianpost.com/news/in-truth-no-one-deserves-to-go-to-heaven-37393/. Accessed 14 Apr. 2017.
Jardine, Adam. “What Happens to Us After Death.”
Lischer, Sarah Kenyon. “Reports of heaven.” The Christian Century, vol. 130, no. 16, 2013, p.
13. Academic OneFile, ez1.maricopa.edu:2048/login?url=http://go.galegroup.com/ps/i.do?p=AONE&sw=w&u=mcc_chandler&v=2.1&it=r&id=GALE%7CA343362857&asid=c382b1da78131c506fb86f899c6b86c4. Accessed 14 Apr. 2017.